Our Little Angels
Grief is Ever Evolving.
Where do I begin? Our Maddie should be 6 years old this summer and yet she’s not with us.
When you lose a child, your grief is not only on the memories you have of them, but also the loss of any future hopes and plans. It is an immense sense of emptiness and unimaginable void that you carry the rest of your life. As time passes, your pain may ease, and it may also creep up at the most unexpected moments too.
After 6 years, I'm learning that grief evolves. We were raising our beautiful toddler when we lost Maddie, and for the first year, it felt like my world stopped, food lost its taste and colours became dull. It was a huge struggle to be the mom my daughter deserved while I balance the loss of Maddie. Then a year later came our rainbow baby and I refused to celebrate and recognize his existence until I gave birth and held him in my arms. I remember the first look in his eyes and all I can see was Maddie.
My eldest witnessed my pregnancy with Maddie, lived through the anticipation of being an older sister and the loss. This has impacted her and her little brother and the types of questions they ask often. Questions like Mommy, Daddy, will you die? Or if you have another baby, can we name her Maddie? Or when I die, will I see Maddie? I even notice them playing pretend "dying” games, set up hospital stations to try to save their dolls and animals, then celebrate together for saving lives. Overall, I do think this is a healthy way for them to internalize life and death.
We originally started Madison Living to honour Maddie, provide support to others, and create wellness products that takes care of you, your family and bring joy to everyday. The products we make, and offer will change over time as our family grows. Both my children are actively involved and always feel her presence, which warms my heart.
Recently, we’ve had more requests for bereavement boxes, and we want to do more for the families. So going forward, let us know if you would like to have a little angel pendant included with your order free of charge. Personally, I found having something tangible to hold or keep or see helps me on the daily.